A bear and a rabbit are shitting in the woods.
The bear ask the rabbit, "Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your ass?"
The rabbit said, "Not at all."
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

A little boy walks in on his mother naked. The boy asks, "What's that?"
The mother replies, "Well...last night your father and I got in a fight and he hit me with an ax."
The boy says, "Looks like he got you right in the cunt!"

Five fags are in a jacuzzi, all of a sudden a glop of cum rises to the top of the water.
One fag asks, "O.K. who farted?"

Last night I was having dinner with Charles Manson, and in the middle of dinner he turned to me and said, "Is it hot in here, or am I crazy?"

Why don't the British make a computer? They haven't figured out how to make it leak oil yet.

It takes Latinos nine hours to play golf. Four hours for 18 holes and five hours to do the lawn.

An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."

Now post a joke dammit!